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Guilt & Grave Markers

from Humming & Survivor's Guilt by Smallville

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lyrics

Playing scratch cards in the driver’s seat
In an empty lot
Where I’ve done spent all my money
And pour out all my luck

And I stare in the rearview mirror
At progenitorial teeth
Crooked incisors in my bloodline
Of the men in my family

I’ve been chasing loves in states
I say are too far away
Or that I got too tied up in work
To call you on your birthday

You say that the chemo burns
And that you’d like to die with grace
My dad cleaned up your beard
As a final thanks

You’ve been fighting this off
And I’ve been neglecting your hospital room
You still remember my name
But the nurse says that it won’t be like that soon

You’ve been fighting this off
And I’ve been neglecting your hospital room
I say that I gotta go
But I don’t have a good reason to

When your legs were a bit more strong
And your lungs didn’t match the asphalt
You would take us down to the graveyard
Sit in the shade of the magnolias

We’d weave between the headstones
Leaving flowers for all the unknowns
I would trip as I carried your body
When we laid you to rest there

My sister and I were kids
We would dance in the green space
So unaware of death
And unfazed by the grey

You’ve been fighting this off
And I’ve been neglecting your hospital room
You still remember my name
But the nurse says that it won’t be like that soon

You’ve been fighting this off
And I’ve been neglecting your hospital room
I say that I gotta go
But I don’t have a good reason to

And when you were my age
You were building planes for war
And I spent all of my inheritance
On some drugs and a beat up car

Yeah, when you were my age
You were building planes for war
And I’d burn through your inheritance
When I crashed my first car

credits

from Humming & Survivor's Guilt, released October 8, 2021

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about

Smallville image

Smallville Nashville, Tennessee

I wrote a song once about a car crash and having too many teeth and I guess it just stuck.

welcome to smallville.

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