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Humming & Survivor's Guilt

by Smallville

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1.
Vaughan Dr 02:48
There’s a famous book about the street that I grew up in — A street sign for a baby boy just got put in They turned eighty acres into a million dollars And a school parking lot I’m crying as you cut down the crabapple tree Said at least we’d always have the evergreen But they turned it to mulch When they bought our house and widened the street I’m looking up at my father Know that he’s gonna live forever And I slide a tie over his head Said his brain’s just not working And his hands have been shaking Can’t seem to make the knot that he’s been making The last thirty years
2.
Playing scratch cards in the driver’s seat In an empty lot Where I’ve done spent all my money And pour out all my luck And I stare in the rearview mirror At progenitorial teeth Crooked incisors in my bloodline Of the men in my family I’ve been chasing loves in states I say are too far away Or that I got too tied up in work To call you on your birthday You say that the chemo burns And that you’d like to die with grace My dad cleaned up your beard As a final thanks You’ve been fighting this off And I’ve been neglecting your hospital room You still remember my name But the nurse says that it won’t be like that soon You’ve been fighting this off And I’ve been neglecting your hospital room I say that I gotta go But I don’t have a good reason to When your legs were a bit more strong And your lungs didn’t match the asphalt You would take us down to the graveyard Sit in the shade of the magnolias We’d weave between the headstones Leaving flowers for all the unknowns I would trip as I carried your body When we laid you to rest there My sister and I were kids We would dance in the green space So unaware of death And unfazed by the grey You’ve been fighting this off And I’ve been neglecting your hospital room You still remember my name But the nurse says that it won’t be like that soon You’ve been fighting this off And I’ve been neglecting your hospital room I say that I gotta go But I don’t have a good reason to And when you were my age You were building planes for war And I spent all of my inheritance On some drugs and a beat up car Yeah, when you were my age You were building planes for war And I’d burn through your inheritance When I crashed my first car
3.
Elaine May 03:37
The summer was spent Latched to hospital bracelets Make a daisy chain from Plastic jewelry Hang it up And tell myself I fell in love Because you held my hand Through the steroid therapy When you cut your hair I lost interest I guess I never should have Given you that ring I was always the patron saint of loneliness Tearing down whatever builds a life At this rate I’ll cut my palm trying to climb heaven’s gate And make it out alive I wore a black eye to your wedding The first dance a waltz The first dance a death march You’re choosing Persian names For all our kids Except our youngest – Emmy Lou When I met you I had lilies on my knee But, I want a whole garden in my stomach I was always the patron saint of loneliness Tearing down whatever builds a life At this rate I’ll cut my palm trying to climb heaven’s gate And make it out alive My whole life, I’ve had cold feet Humming Hallelujah when I leave Jumping rocks until I run out And I, I miss the whole thing I was always the patron saint of loneliness Tearing down whatever builds a life At this rate I’ll cut my palm trying to climb heaven’s gate And make it out alive
4.
Snow never fell So snow never melted So the dandelions Are all out of sync with their bloom And the suburbs alone And all but forgotten So the potholes joined hands -- They formed a community pool And I heard you start Praying in English ‘Cause your native tongue’s Bringing down property value And I heard you start Praying in English Oh, I heard you start Praying in English English… English…
5.
Petechiae 04:31
I’ve been throwing up pills That stop my gums from bleeding My hips are still bruised But at least I’m still breathing tonight I’m still walking through parking lots I’m still walking through-- In the meantime, all these headaches Are just repeat trips to the ER In the meantime, I’m just footsteps On linoleum hospital floors Hospital trips are mundane now I get blood tests, and checkups, and groceries I’m still making treks down, when the haze of the skyline Fades out with the death Of the summer heat I watch my blood drain into vials Wrapped in coban and fluorescent light I sit in silence, the nurse counts my platelets Then tells me that I’m still alive In the meantime, all these headaches Are just repeat trips to the ER In the meantime, I’m just footsteps On linoleum hospital floors I was young, I was healthy, I was destined do great things I was never meant to wilt with the seasons I was supposed to be evergreen In the meantime, all these headaches Are just repeat trips to the ER In the meantime, I’m just footsteps On linoleum hospital floors I was young, I was healthy, I was destined do great things I was never meant to wilt with the seasons I was supposed to be evergreen
6.
Shenandoah 04:00
I see you spinning A white dress in the Shenandoah Valley You are another bloom Amongst the field of wildflowers You got passed up by devils When you made a king’s crown out of holly A savior in a thorn bush A back road in foreign cities You moved up north When you ran away from home in the fall I’ve been praying for rain And you’ve been praying that I don’t stop I buried poetry in your yard Along with a bust of a saint That was my last blessing And I just gave it away I see you spinning A white dress in the Shenandoah Valley You are another bloom Amongst the field of wildflowers I passed up on an angel When you made that white dress out of ivy A compromise in a church pew I mourn the death on the freeway  And we’re singing dirges in the dark And we’re singing dirges in the dark You were built from all of the best prayers And I was built in the dark I see you spinning A white dress in the Shenandoah Valley You are another bloom Amongst the field of wildflowers
7.
I was born on a day that God was sick I was carved from the useless pieces I’m playing bloody knuckles with the concrete And tug of war with this broken sickness The flowers in my gut are rotted My teeth are curtained with blood Paint the asphalt with my coffee ground vomit Apologize until you say we’re good I dropped the torch from my mouth But you — a steadfast Lord Hound Brought you bundles of carnations But, I tarnish your salvation You’ve been talking in your sleep again Or I’ve been talking with a demon They’re all strangers An arm’s length prayer We buried Saint Rita In the gaps between my teeth They fixed all of the street lamps So we can finally see our feet When we’re dancing with magnolias In the February breeze I can’t let go of Dying like the evergreen I’ve been working on the making the pieces fit They name cities after feelings like this I’ve been working on the making the pieces fit I’m getting used to the getting used to it You’ve been talking in your sleep And I’m paralyzed in my dreams Brought you bundles of carnations But, I tarnish your salvation At least, that’s what you said Mrs. Dalloway of the Midwest They’re all strangers An arm’s length prayer We buried Saint Rita In the gaps between my teeth They fixed all of the street lamps So we can finally see our feet When we’re dancing with magnolias In the February breeze I can’t let go of Dying like the evergreen They name cities after feelings like this They name cities after feelings like this They name cities after feelings like this They name cities after feelings like this

about

when I was a kid, my family and I lived on a street with six other houses. we had three acres of land all to ourselves. I saw deer leap over our backyard fences at twilight. with just a screen door between us, I admired a coyote sitting and still in our front yard just before the sun created a new day. when I was born, neighbors installed a sign at the beginning of our street "slow - children at play", a caution for the sparse drivers to watch out for my sister and I playing outside. eventually the city came in and turned our land into an elementary school and investors came in and erected 80 more houses on our calm street. a magnolia tree, strong and steadfast, towered in our yard for decades. it was stripped and demolished in minutes when the city needed more room to expand the street. our new record is like this. it feels like watching a city takeover and leech the life from your small street and everything you couldn’t do to change it.

** NOTE: If you are unable to pay for this record, but would still like a copy, please email hello@smallvilleband.com and we will provide you with a free digital download. **

credits

released October 8, 2021

This album does not exist without my friends.

Lyrics by Nathan Childers
Vocals by Nathan Childers
Lead guitar written and recorded by Aaron Lensch
Rhythm guitar written and recorded by Zach Anderson
Bass guitar written and recorded by Aaron Lensch
Drums written and recorded by Ross Winchel
Keys for tracks 1, 2, & 7 written and recorded by Aaron Lensch
Guitar for tracks 2 & 7 written by Jacob Curry
Synth for track 5 written and recorded by Nathan Childers

Recorded by Mat Poole at The Amber Sound in Nashville, TN
Mixed and mastered by Matt Schumacher

Album artwork by t.e.FILM

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about

Smallville Nashville, Tennessee

I wrote a song once about a car crash and having too many teeth and I guess it just stuck.

welcome to smallville.

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