Me In February

from by Smallville

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Wrote down my sins in the back of a Bible
There’s a reason that they keep those pages blank
And you said you only prayed for two things:
For me to be happy and for me to find your faith

You said you were gonna steal that painting
From the bathroom of your favorite coffee shop
Start a teenage holy war in your basement
And move to Massachusetts in the fall

We keep celebrating holidays late
And no one’s been mad that I, that I haven’t called
I just keep sending birthday cards on the wrong day
Yeah, I’ve been desperate
And every door looks like
An emergency exit

My knife keeps feeling heavy in my pocket
And I keep balancing cough drops on my tongue
Maybe that’s what it’s like to call me “sweetheart”
And I’m caught in your throat when you hum
To yourself

And I sound more composed in my letters
Wrote you a postcard and hoped to God I signed it “thanks”
I’m a cracked windshield in rainstorm in Virginia
And you’re the reason I’m still grinding my teeth

I’m so scared of sleep
‘Cause I’m afraid I’ll wake up from this dream
Where you leave me two voicemails
When I check ‘em
They both say
That you miss me

And there’s this book that I read
With a girl who laughs just like you
And I thought her death
Was caused by a car crash,
But I reread the whole thing
And it don’t say either way

I must have made the whole thing up
I must have made the whole thing up
I must have made the whole thing up

What gets me the most is
She could have died a hundred different ways
And I just made the whole thing up
Goddamn, I made the whole thing up


from A Letter To Your Saint Rita, released April 14, 2017



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Smallville Nashville, Tennessee

I wrote a song once about a car crash and having too many teeth and I guess it just stuck.

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